Paper Scars
by Midnight-Kitsune11
Summary: Formerly Dark Walker. When Alfons finds Edward's diary he hopes to find out about the boy's past but he doesn't expect what he reads. When Edward starts to see someone he never expected in his dreams, he doesn't realise just how real it is. Mild Roy x Ed - Could be interpreted as a Father/Son type thing. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist.
1. Prologue

Hey! New story! :D

First multi-chaptered Fullmetal Alchemist fanfic so hopefully it will turn alright. The name is taken the book this story is based on but I'll try to think of something better.

I'm uploading the prologue now so that I can get some feedback but the rest of the chapters won't be uploaded until later in the month or early next year. Please review and let me know what you think. :D

**Summary: **WhenAlfons finds Edward's diary he hopes to find out about the boy's past but he doesn't expect what he reads. When Edward starts to see someone he never expected in his dreams, he doesn't realise just how real it is.

**Dark Walker (name subject to change)**

It had all started when Alfons was cleaning Edward's room.

He had walked past earlier in the day and noticed that it was a complete mess. It was to be expected since Edward always had books and research documents spread out across the floor in some kind of order that was only comprehensible to him but since Alfons had finished work early today and Edward was out, he had decided to help out a little and organise the room for him. He had intended to only pick up the papers and books and stack them in less obtrusive parts of the room such as the desk or in corners but then he found it. Near the single bed in the room by the window he had found a dark brown and very tattered looking leather bound book with metal corners. It was quite ordinary looking among the sea of books in the room but as Alfons picked it up, it opened to a random page and Edward's handwriting was clear on the paper that had probably once been white but was now a pale yellow colour. Edward had a habit of scribbling notes down the side of books he read but this book was written entirely by Ed. Was he doing his own research? What about though? He read a paragraph of the text, curious as to what Ed was investigating but found it to be nothing to do with science at all. In fact, from what was written he would have guessed it was a... diary. Did Edward keep a diary? That didn't seen like something he would do but he guessed it was possible. Alfons put the little book down on the desk and continued to tidy the room but he could not stop the curiosity at what kind of things Edward would write in his diary.

Alfons had noticed recently that his room-mate had been acting strangely. He admitted that he had not known the other for very long but he had developed quite a good idea of the teen's character. If Alfons had to sum up Edward in three words, they would be intelligent, determined and contradictory. For example, he had very idealistic, possibly even naive, views when it came to justice and yet sometimes he would say something that gave the impression he had seen far more than someone his age should ever have.

It would also be interesting to see what he said about the other world he claimed to have come from. Even though Edward's descriptions and recounts of the world he believed himself to have come from were very realistic, Alfons could not bring himself to truly believe the boy's stories. It just wasn't possible!

By this point Alfons had tidied all he could without majorly disturbing the blonde's research and could still not tear his thoughts away from what could be written in that little brown book on the desk. It was like those old sayings "train of thought" and "one track mind". Right now his thoughts were a literal train; no matter how much he tried, the train was on the track and no amount of effort could make it drive anywhere else. He looked over his shoulder at the book, sitting innocently on the wooden surface and couldn't help but glare at it. He knew that if he opened that book and read even one word it was an invasion of Ed's privacy and that if Ed ever found out, he would not trust the young Heiderich again. However, he just couldn't stop thinking about it!

Edward had never told him that much about himself. Even though the elder Elric had often spoken of the other world that supposedly existed somewhere, he rarely mentioned the people he left behind and even less frequently talked about his past there. He knew that something bad must have happened, that much was evident from the boy's behaviour, mentality and also from the prosthetic right arm and left leg he had. Something terrible must have happened to his real limbs to make the "automail", as Edward had called it, necessary. As far as Edward knew, Alfons was not aware he had fake limbs so he had never asked and no explanation had ever been provided, but within that book could be the answer.

He walked toward the desk cautiously as though he feared the book itself would somehow make him betray Edward's trust in him. When he reached the table he picked the book up looked at it from all angles as though he would somehow find the answer to his dilemma by doing so.

As long as Edward didn't find out, there was no harm done, right? He would only read a page. Just to find out if it really was a diary or just a research journal and to maybe find out a little bit about his past. He just wanted to get to know the boy better.

Alfons opened the little book and began to read the first page…

**Dark Walker (name subject to change)**

Thanks for reading and I hope you like it so far. Review so that I know to continue it! :D

Edit (9.12.12): I found the missing part of the chapter! Hallelujah! :D Sorry for the screw up. :'(


	2. Chapter 1

The great reviews I got for the prologue encouraged me to write more chapters so here you go! :D  
Not much happens yet but it will get more interesting soon. :)

Read, review and enjoy!

_Italics_ are the diary entry.  
Normal is Alfons' thoughts/real time.

**Dark Walker**

Chapter 1

_17__th__ June 1923_

_So... I'm going to keep a diary. It's not something I ever had any desire to do before but I figure it would be a good idea to record my experiences in this parallel world. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity so I need to collect as much information as possible and record it. My own litt- not little research project, I guess._

'Typical. That's so Edward. Just has to turn everything into research, doesn't he?'

_Everything's different. No alchemy, new sciences and completely new people. Well I guess they aren't completely new people... A lot of them look like people from Amestris but with different personalities. I miss Amestris. I wonder how Al's doing. He probably returned to Risembool when he couldn't find me. Maybe he thinks I died. God, I hope not! If he thought that he would have cried and I couldn't stand knowing that I caused that. He's been through too much already, seen too many people die... He shouldn't have to deal with that._

"'Seen too many people die'?" Alfons repeated. If his brother had seen that, didn't that mean that Edward had too? Why would Al have seen people die, especially more than once?! What had the two gotten themselves into that had led to them seeing something like that? He continued to read.

_I wish I could have saved him form that kind of pain. I know what it's like to have to witness something like that and I know how that memory will never leave you. Was there something I could have done that I didn't realise at the time? Was there some way I could have prevented that experience for him? Does he know it's my fault? He must do. I'm sure he realises that the reason he's stuck inside that armour is because I persuaded him to do something we never should have. I knew it was forbidden so why did I make him do it?! I was only 8 but I still should have known better. I'm the older brother! I'm supposed to protect Alphonse but instead i'm the one that put him in danger and caused this whole mess. I've screwed up his life... Even if he still had his old body, no 7 year old should have to see that scene. All the blood and bones and those red eyes..._

'Doesn't sound like a person only doing things to relieve their guilt. He seems like an amazing brother to this Alphonse kid. What was he talking about earlier? "_All the blood and bones and those red eyes..." _Just what did they witness? And at only 7 and 8 years old?! Edward makes it sound like his brother had a much harder time than he did but it sounds to me like Ed had it harder. Taking on the burden of caring for his younger brother entirely by himself with no one to talk to about it and trying to act strong for him and still his highest priority is his brother's happiness. He's one hell of a brother and the passion that he writes with makes it pretty hard to believe that none of it is real...

_This hasn't turned out much like a research journal, has it? It sounds more like a typical diary where people whine about their problems as though it will help in some way. Maybe I should just stop writing for now or I'll just end up talking about the last 10 years of my life and that will not be fun. The days in that time that I would like to relive are few and far between._

_-Edward Elric_

Alfons continued to stare at the page a while longer, taking in what he had read. 10 years? The last 10 years of his life had been that bad?! He dare not imagine what could have happened to the boy in that time, instead he slowly turned the page, cautious of what he might learn about his room-mate.

**Dark Walker (name subject to change)**

Any suggestions for the title? This title is from the book it's based on so I don't think it's a good idea to keep it.

What do you all think of "When Two Worlds Collide" or "No Place That Far"? Sounds a bit cheesy to me... They're song titles. :P


	3. Chapter 2

This chapter is quite short unfortunately but I am updating! :)  
Happy new year everyone! I hope you all had a great christmas and I wish you all good luck for 2013. :D

I apologise for any mistakes in this but I don't have a beta so there may be some.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters in this story.

_Italics_ are the diary entry.  
Normal is Alfons' thoughts/real time.

**Dark Walker (name subject to change)**

Chapter 2

_20__th__ June 1923_

_I saw a dog today that looked just like Alexander. I couldn't stop the flood of memories that it caused... Nina smiling, Al, Nina and I playing in the snow with Alexander and then, of course, the blood and remains of the chimera they were made into splattered on cold, hard stone. Rapidly deconstructed from the inside out. You'd think I'd have learned to deal with it by now, after all I was 12 then and now I'm 18. I think forgetting might be more painful though... It would be like pretending Nina and Alexander never existed and forgetting my time at the Tucker house. I don't think I would like that either._

Alfons shuddered, reading the short block of text. 'I don't exactly understand what he'd talking about but it sounds gory. Gory and traumatising. He says he should be over it by now but I don't think anyone would ever learn to deal with something like that, they shouldn't have to, especially not at 12 years old.'

_On a happier note, I'm finding out what education is like. I haven't been to school for many years and even then it wasn't for very long. I must have been about 5 or 6 years old last time I attended a school. It was the year our mother died..._

Edward hasn't been educated since he was 5? How is that possible?! He's so intelligent! He does read a lot... Is it all knowledge from books?

_It's really strange and new but I'm learning all kinds of things I never knew before and a lot of completely new things that I had never even heard of before about physics and engineering which are the main sciences here. I hope I can find a way to use the new knowledge when I return to Amestris... I'll kick Colonel Bastard's ass by incorporating physics and engineering with alchemy! I'll be able to help Winry make her automail even better as well, if that's possible. Speaking of automail, i've had to fix my own make-shift automail since I arrived here since Hohenheim gave me some shitty old automail and left!_

_Alfons is really intelligent. I guess I shouldn't be surprised since he's the parallel version of Alphonse. They even have similar personalities. I help him with his rocket science work sometimes and it's so complex; it fascinates me. I've always loved to learn and the lectures I occasionally sit in on at the university (my education) really help me to understand his work so I can talk to him about it. I love being room-mates with him but sometimes... it's painful knowing that, even though he looks just like Alphonse, he doesn't know anything about the years we spent travelling around Amestris, hell he doesn't even believe Amestris exists! He probably just thinks I'm some crazy brat trying to get attention or something. I'm not a brother to him, merely a friend and that knowledge makes me long to be in Risembool with Alphonse like everything is normal._

_-Edward Elric_

I really remind him that much of his brother? I never knew that it pained him so much to be around me and that I don't really believe in 'Amestris'. I can only imagine how hard it must be to live with someone who looks so similar to someone extremely important to you but them not remember a single thing about everything you went through with them, especially when you've been through as much as it sounds like Edward and his brother have. Of course i don't remember since it never actually happened to me, we're different people, but I still feel bad for putting him through that. He has already felt so much pain in his short life, he shouldn't have to go through any more.

_**Dark Walker (name subject to change)**_

As the story progresses, Alfons will stop interrupting as much. :P


	4. Chapter 3

Thanks very much to '**BlackPaperMoon82462** 'for pointing out the mistake I made with the point of view at one point in this chapter. :D

**'MeAgain':** Hi. Since you seem to be a guest, I couldn't contact you through PM so i'll respond like this and I hope that's alright? Alfons doesn't really interrupt anymore so it's ok and the real Roy will be in the story soon. :) Thanks for the review and i'm glad you like the story so much and I hope you like this chapter. :D

_Italics_ are the diary entry.  
Normal is Alfons' thoughts/real time.

**Dark Walker (name subject to change)**

Chapter 3

_3__rd__ July 1923_

_I had the strangest dream. It wasn't the kind of strange where you're swimming with dolphins through the sea or trying to put garments of clothing on random animals, it was strange because of how normal it was. Just me and Colonel Bastard sitting in his office; me lounging on his couch and him at his desk with the dreaded piles of paperwork. We didn't really talk... To be honest we didn't really do anything. At the beginning I was confused about why I was in Mustang's office, rightfully so I think, and Mustang shared a similar expression before voicing his surprise. Not willing to admit that I had no idea why I was there (stubborn and prideful even in my dreams) I just told him it was none of his business and sat down. Neither of us spoke after that, probably both trying to figure out what was going on, and shortly after I woke up in my own bed as is to be expected._

_Why am I dreaming about the colonel? Is it a subconscious embodiment of my desire for normality? Why was I so aware of myself? In dreams, usually you just act as the dream wants you to. You don't have to decide for yourself why you are where you are and you don't have conscious thoughts either. It's your subconscious projecting situations vaguely related to things on your mind while your consciousness is absent due to sleep so your consciousness should not be involved. Perhaps that's why I'm still so tired... My body rested but my brain did not..._

_-Edward Elric_

_5__th__ July 1923_

_It happened again. That dream. It was a little different this time but I was in Mustang's office in Central and the colonel was there, just like the first time. The difference being that we actually spoke this time. See, I had a bit of a stressful day yesterday so I wasn't too happy. I had missed a lecture I really wanted to attend because my automail broke and it took me hours and a hell of a lot of pain to fix it and so I arrived in the dream not in the best of spirits. Another sign that it was not a regular dream since who keeps their previous emotions in a dream?! I walked in and sat on the couch again, not greeting the colonel when he looked up at the sound of the door closing, a little harder than was necessary._

_That's where it started to get weird. Mustang stood from his desk and walked over to sit next to me on the couch. He regarded me silently for a moment before asking "What's wrong?" He said it in such a gentle tone that it made me raise my head and meet his gaze, curiosity most likely evident in my eyes. We shared a searching look, both trying to understand what the other was thinking but failing. All I could see in his onyx eyes was concern and curiosity, none of the deceit or amusement I was expecting to find. As much as I hate to admit it, even just to some paper, that look made me want to tell him everything, in fact it took all the self-control I had to reply with a terse "Nothing" which came out a lot quieter and more unsure than it was supposed to. I could tell that the colonel didn't expect such a civil answer from me but, surprisingly, he didn't mention it, settling to just watch me for a few more minutes making me very uncomfortable. I felt like he wouldn't stop staring at me until I told him but eventually he leaned back in his seat and looked forwards toward the wall of his office._

"_You won't tell me then?" He enquired as though his asking would make me change my mind._

"_Of course not. Why would I, Colonel Bastard?" I replied, trying to sound convincing but failing miserably._

"_Well maybe because this is only a dream?" He answered, condescending tone present in his voice as it always used to be._

_I made a noise in reply though what it meant was unclear. I was too confused to care._

_If it was just a dream, why did it feel so much like it wasn't? And why was Mustang in my dream; why not Al or Winry or someone else? Also I couldn't comprehend why this Mustang was so different than the real one. The Roy in front of him right now appeared to genuinely care for him and had not once mocked him since the dreams began, never mind that it had only been a few days. The real Roy Mustang would not have asked what was wrong or spoken so gently to him, he would have called him short and told him to cheer up and get back to work without causing so much destruction this time; he really did hate paperwork. Why did my subconscious create a caring version of the colonel?_

_The dream had ended shortly after that, the remainder of the time spent sitting together on the couch in silence, but my thoughts did not. Unlike regular dreams, I can remember very well what happened last night and I have not been able to stop thinking about it since then. The problem with my mind is it's scientific. Numbers, calculations, science and alchemy; that's what I excel in, fact and analysis so when faced with a problem like this all it can do is analyse the situation repeatedly thinking of every possible reason and analysing every single little thing that happened during that time. To say the least, it was driving me insane. There was very little fact in this problem and even if I reach the right conclusion, I will not know it and will keep thinking and thinking so this is not the kind of situation I am good at dealing with. I have spent most of my life with only my brother for company so I am no expert in social situations. To make it even worse, these dreams leave me feeling like I have had very little sleep due to the strange dreams and the fact that I have not been getting much sleep lately anyway._

_-Edward Elric; a very confused alchemist._

**Dark Walker (name subject to change)**

From chapter 4 onwars this story will be called **Paper Scars **which is the great name that was suggested by '**JadeFowl'**. Thanks a lot! :D


	5. Chapter 4

Thanks very, very much to JadeFowl for the new name. It's awesome! It kind of shows that these are (later in the story) Ed's scars from Munich written down in his journal. :D

I've realised that this isn't really what a journal would be like since there is far too much detail and dialogue but I don't think I can really change it because without the dialogue and detail it wouldn't recount the dreams very well. And so I am going to try to justify it by saying that Ed is a scientist so he would try to be very accurate and detailed in his records of the dreams...

**Paper Scars**

Chapter 4

_7th July 1923_

_I've been having these dreams every night now. They're the same every time... except last night. Last night I just thought 'What the hell? It's a dream, I might as well just talk!' so I actually talked to Mustang. Yes, you read that right; I had a civilised conversation with Colonel Roy Mustang. Don't get any ideas though; it was only a dream._

_I was in his office as usual, just sitting on his couch. I'm not sure why I always end up in his office in these dreams but I try not to think too much about the technicalities of these dreams since they are, as far as I can tell, just that; dreams._

_"What's the problem, Fullmetal?" Mustang asked suddenly. So far we had been sitting mostly in silence so I was a little startled by this abrupt beginning of a conversation._

_"What? What do you mean, problem?" I replied, genuinely confused. I didn't realise there was a problem in this dream although, honestly I should have expected something to happen. Nothing could be simple for me, could it?_

_"You've looked like something's bothering you since you got here so out with it. What's bothering you?" The colonel clarified.  
_

_I was surprised by the concern he was showing and considered that maybe this was part of my subconscious too. 'Do I want someone to care about me? But why would I project that as Colonel Bastard?!'_

_I opened my mouth with the intention of telling him that it was none of his business but then... I shut my mouth and began to think._

_Mustang doesn't give a damn about me in real life so this must be a dream and if this is a dream... what does it matter if I tell him some things? Nothing important because, well he's still Mustang in appearance.  
I could sense Mustang watching me expectantly, what he expected though I was not sure. He was after all a figment of my imagination so he was different from the real colonel._

_I hesitated a little before I finally found the courage to start speaking. "I'm worried. About Al, I mean. I've left without him knowing why or to where and I don't know if he's alright. I wonder if he's worried about me too or if he's just accepted that I've gone and has moved on. Selfish as it is, I hope he's a bit worried... I worry like mad about him, after all..." I mumbled most of this in a vain hope that Mustang wouldn't hear was an stupid idea though considering the entire military headquaters of Amestris was silent around them, not even the far off murmur of voices or the faint sound of footsteps to signify that anyone was there besides the two alchemists sat alone in the colonel's office at that moment._

"_Ed..." Mustang muttered in surprise. He then stood and walked towards me before taking a seat next to me on the couch. "Alphonse was and still is very worried about you. He is staying in Risembool at the moment but as soon as he can he wants to search for you. He's already tried and we had to make him go to Risembool to calm down and wait until we had more information about your disappearence. We still don't have very much information though... It's like you just vanished into thin air which, in a way, I guess you did." The colonel spoke softly and it was clear that he was trying to be comforting. What surprised Ed even more than the idea of Roy Mustang trying to comfort him was the knowledge that it was working._

"_I didn't vanish, I was transported. Through the gate to the other side; to somewhere called Munich. It's a completely different world Mustang. Th-"_

"_Roy." Mustang cut him off and, at the confusion that must have shown on my face, he elaborated. "It's only a dream so I think you should call me Roy. Mustang and colonel are for at work but I'm not you superior officer at the moment. Well I still am, of course, since no one so short could be __**my**__ superior..."  
A smirk spread across his face and I was overwhelmed by a sense of familiarity. I had never once thought I would be happy to see Colonel Mustang's smirk and to be called short but, at that moment, I was filled by a rush of relief at the normality of it even in such a strange situation as this. I was so happy and relieved, in fact, that I forgot to retort to his insult._

"_Anyway, it's so different. There's no alchemy here for a start. No one even knows what alchemy is! They work with physics and mechanics and things like that. It's fascinating but still very strange... There is a big war going on there at the moment and the weapons they use are very powerful but they're all machines. The people are very strictly controlled." I trailed off. Why was I bothering with this? Why bother talking to a dreamed up version of Mu- Roy? I had to admit, though only to myself, that it was making me feel a little better to talk to someone else about it all but they still didn't explain it. Not really anyway._

"_Really?! No alchemy at all?!" Mustang exclaimed. I wasn't surprised that that was the only bit of information he paid attention to. I would have done the same after all and I could hardly comprehend it when I found out myself. He doesn't have to live it though..._

"_None at all. They've never even heard of it and no one believes me when I say anything about it or Amestris. They are beginning to think i'm a bit crazy. There's no automail either, unfortunately." I replied._

"_There's no automail either?! What about your arm and leg then? What are the people like anyway?"_

"_No. I've got this shit Hohenheim gave me when I first arrived before he pissed off and left to me to deal with everything myself. The people... There are alternate versions of people from Amestris, for example the florist is just like Gracia and my roommate... is just like Al..." I trailed off again at this point as I feared if I didn't I might start crying._

_I could already feel tears building up in my eyes and a made sure I kept looking far away from the colonel. I felt Mustang move closer to me and out an arm around me, pulling me closer to him. I guess he knew I was crying even without me looking at him. I looked at him, teary-eyed, in surprise but he just responded with a small smile. I gave up trying to figure it all out; it was just a dream anyway, right?_

_That morning I had woken with tear tracks on my face, a strange feeling about what had happened and the expected fatigue._

_-Edward Elric; uncomprehending alchemist, beginning to think it's not worth thinking about._

**Paper Scars**

Hope you liked it!

Alfons seems to have decided to shut up completely now... There just didn't seem to be a good place for him to interrupt. The next few chapters will be a little different and will definitely give you a better understanding of the plot.


	6. Chapter 5

I know that in this Roy and Ed have very similar thinking but they're both scientists so they would try to think about facts which are the same for both of them.

**Paper Scars**

Chapter 5

Mustang had been surprisingly quiet and had hardly left his office today. He had made no ridiculous excuses nor found any possible reasons to leave his paperwork and it had not gone unnoticed. Mustang's team; Fuery, Breda, Falman, Havoc and, of course, Hawkeye had noticed his quietness and were very suspicious. Their commanding officer never just stayed in his office and did his paperwork!

"Ok, that's it! I'm going to find out what's going on." Hawkeye announced and stood from her desk. The others looked nervously at each other knowing that this would very likely end badly. She walked over to the door and opened it calmly, closing it behind her.

The sight that met her in her superior officer's office was not unexpected but angered her none the less. The colonel had his arms on the desk in front of him and his head resting on top of them and he was fast asleep. The sniper stormed over to the sleeping man fully intent on yelling him awake and continuing to yell until he never even considered sleeping in the office again, however when she reached his desk and saw that instead of paperwork being on his desk there was instead a small book which the colonel seemed to have almost fallen asleep on. Instead of anger, as would be her usual reaction, she was filled with curiosity at her discovery. 'He's not working on any research at the moment, is he?'

She picked up the little book, careful not to wake the colonel who would almost definitely try to shout at her for touching his things without permission. At least until he got a few warning shots fired at him, but she would still not get to investigate this little book. It was a simple notebook. Lines across the pages allowed the writer to keep their writing straight and it was really just made for it's purpose; no decorations, just paper. It was already open at a page that was half full and she skimmed the contents of it, trying to figure out what kind of research he was currently doing. What she read, however, sounded less like research and more like a diary. She stifled a giggle when she thought of what Roy would say if he knew that she knew he kept a diary. Now that she knew, she couldn't stop her curiosity from wondering what exactly the colonel write about in his diary. Would it all just be complaining about paperwork? Unable to resist the temptation, she turned back to the first page and sat in the chair on the opposite side of the desk to Roy. She began to read...

_5__th__ July 1923_

_For some reason, recently Fullmetal has been appearing in my dreams. Surely it means something but I don't know what. I'm always just sitting in my office and then he comes in and sits on the couch then nothing happens for the rest of the dream except the occasional random comment and then I wake up. I even wake up at strange times for no apparent reason too and when I fall asleep again, the dream is gone. Why is my subconscious thinking about Fullmetal being in my office? It doesn't make any sense!_

_Another thing that's strange is that I'm very aware of myself and my thinking in these dreams. It's not like normal dreams where you don't really know why you're doing something but you do it anyway because it's a dream and that's just what's supposed to happen. I think about what i'm doing, why and what I should do next. I have conscious thoughts in these dreams and when I wake up, I still feel like I've had very little sleep even if I've slept for hours. It's only happened a few times so far but it doesn't seem like it's going to stop soon. I need to figure out what it means... It could help us find Ed._

_-The Flame Alchemist (Is that really suitable since this is a personal diary...?)_

Riza stared at the words for a few seconds, surprised by what she had read and still trying comprehend it all. These didn't sound like normal dreams but she could think of nothing else they could be. She turned to the next page and started to read the next entry.

**Paper Scars**

I hope you liked the chapter. :)


	7. Chapter 6

I wrote this entire chapter at school. I'm fairly sure I should be doing something a bit more academic with my study lessons… :P

**Paper Scars**

Chapter 6  


_7__th__ July 1923_

_It happened again. I fell asleep only to find myself in my office and Ed sitting on my couch. I still didn't understand what was going on but I knew that it was happening and I had to deal with it. We sat in silence for a while before I decided that enough was enough. I could tell that something was bothering him and it's not like we had anything better to do than just sit here anyway._

"_What's the problem, Fullmetal?" I attempted nonchalance but suspect that I failed quite miserably as I still heard a hint of concern in my voice. I knew it was only a dream but I couldn't help worrying for the kid in front of me. He insisted that he was not a child but that's the problem. He never really was or not for long enough at least. His childhood was cut short when their mother died and he has been doing dangerous things since then preventing him from having a proper childhood. He was living an adult's life, maybe even worse, when he was still only a child._

_He seemed confused before he responded and I had to elaborate what I meant by my question. He seemed surprised by my interest in his well being making me feel guilty for neglecting to do so before. He took a while to respond, seemingly having an internal battle about what to do or say._

_I didn't expect what he said when he finally decided to speak. I should have, considering what he's like but I didn't. The first words out his mouth were "I'm worried about Al." He had mumbled but I could still hear him clearly in the silent building. Typical Ed; always thinking about Al before himself. After he had expressed his concerns, I surprised both him and myself by joining him on the couch and offering reassurances. I do not know what possessed me to do so but I did and, somehow, it seemed to work a little._

_As he spoke I realised that he was calling me 'Mustang' and 'Colonel' still and it occurred to me how inappropriate it was for the atmosphere in the room at that moment. This wasn't work, merely a dream so why should they be so formal? I voiced my opinion but added a bit of characteristic arrogance on the end to keep the tone a little lighter. However, I didn't expect my arrogance to make a small smile appear on his face and relief show clearly in his expression. The long awaited retort never came._

_Ed spoke a lot to me about 'Munich' where he was apparently stuck. He told me that there was no alchemy there and, though I struggled to believe it, he insisted it was true. Instead they studied 'physics' and 'mechanics', whatever they were. Hohenheim had been there but had left Ed alone in a strange place with some rubbish equivalent of automail. My hatred for the man only increased upon hearing this but anger was the last thing on my mind when I saw tears collecting in his golden eyes. Firstly I was, of course, surprised. Edward Elric was crying?! I never thought I'd see it happen but then it occurred to me that I should have been more surprised that it hadn't happened before. With all that Edward had been through and was still going through now, it was a wonder he didn't cry a lot more. His father left, his mother died, his younger brother almost died and was trapped in a suit of armour, he lost his arm and leg, many of his friends died or were involved in possibly more horrible things, Nina for example. And to make things worse, some of the people he had seen die, such as Hughes, he now had to see again but they had no memory of any of the things Ed knew about happening. The kid's strength, both mentally and physically, really was admirable._

_I'm not very experienced at comforting people and usually I tried to avoid any situation in which I would have to but I was already in this situation and so I had to do something. I couldn't leave Edward like this and do nothing about it, even if this Edward was merely a figment of my imagination. I moved a little closer to him before putting an arm around him and pulling him into an awkward kind of hug. Shock was evident on his face, even through the tears that had built up in his eyes, and I gave him a small smile of reassurance. This had clearly rid him of any reservations he had previously had as he then moved a little to make himself comfortable and proceeded to cling to and cry on my military jacket. Had I been asked only a few minutes ago what my reaction to someone weeping on my clothing would have been I probably would have said something of a violent nature, and yet here was Edward doing exactly that and all I did was pull him closer. Maybe it was to do with the fact that he was curled up next to me and looked so much younger than his 18 years at that moment, or maybe it was because I knew that he deserved to be allowed this time of weakness after all he had already been through and all that was yet to come or maybe it was just because I had always had a bit of a soft spot for this young man. Whatever the reason, instead of it disgusting me, I was happy that he felt comfortable enough with me for this to happen and glad that I was here when it happened so he wasn't alone._

_-Roy Mustang (because really? Who was I kidding? This is not an alchemic journal.)_

**Paper Scars**


	8. Chapter 7

I'd like to point out that I do know that the Holocaust did not actually start until about 10 years after this story is set but since there are already Nazis in Munich when Edward is there, I had the idea to make the holocaust a part of the story. In my plan, it shouldn't be a very big part of the story, just an idea to help it along. They need something to talk about in the dreams you know and this gives me a chance to have Hurt/Vulnerable!Edward and Comforting! Roy again. :D

**Paper Scars**

Chapter 7

_21__st__ July 1923_

_After that, our… 'meetings' were a little more comfortable but I could tell there was still a lot of secrecy between us. However, I was happy with the progress we'd made so far. If he wanted to talk to me, he could but if he wanted to keep on pretending that everything was fine, then I could do that. It was up to him. Due to this, nothing much happened in the dream office for a while… until last night that is._

_Edward was clearly stressed when I entered the room. He was sitting on the couch in the same position he would if he were completely relaxed but it was just too… purposeful. I could tell he was trying to look casual and it made him look as tense as I'm sure he felt. His shoulders were set as was his jaw and he was fidgeting restlessly making it painfully obvious that something was bothering the young man._

"_What's up, Ed?" I asked, internally chuckling at the fact that it caused the blonde to jump. He was definitely not relaxed…_

"_Nothing really, Colonel. I'm fine." The younger man replied, unconvincingly. I raised an eyebrow at him. Knowing that he would understand the non-verbal question. "I'm fine!" He emphasised, elongating the 'i' sound in an attempt to make his point._

"_Really, Fullmetal? You think I believe such a blatant lie?" I asked, making my disbelief of his lie known._

"_Well I'd hoped so, yes. It's not really anything new. It's the same shit it's just starting to get to me a little... I'm a bit stressed but that's all." Edward replied, cryptically._

"_What is it? Is this still about Alphonse? I promise that he is healthy and as happy as he can be given the situation." I assured the boy currently seated on my couch._

"_No, that's not it... I believe you about Al. He's just that kind of person that doesn't let things get him down and just gives everything he's got to fix it. It's just... this other world... There's a fair amount of fighting in our world but this is a whole other level. The whole country is against each other! People are killed and tortured for nothing! Well not nothing; it's worse than that. They're punished for being who they are..." Ed's tone fluctuated throughout his explanation, rising as he spoke of the injustices and lowering to almost a whisper as he talked about just what the reasoning was for these things._

"_Tortured? What do you mean for being themselves?" I asked, confused by what the young man had said by way of explanation._

"_Yes, tortured. They are forced to work far beyond human limits, starved, dehydrated and made to live in places that no one should live in let alone the hundreds they cram in. It's horrible and completely inhumane. I can't comprehend how they could possibly do those things to another human being... You can't possibly understand it without seeing it for yourself and consider yourself lucky that you haven't. The so-called 'crimes' that they get sent there for consist of being Jewish, Polish, of a different skin colour, a slave or disabled or homosexual... So many things that people have no control over and are in no way crimes at all and people are being killed and tortured for it! It's... well, honestly, it's terrifying because... it could easily be me if I even momentarily let my guard down..." The blonde mumbled horrified and I saw him shudder at the mere thought of what these people were doing._

Riza paused her reading horrified at the thought of all of this going on even if it wasn't in their world. What made her feel physically sick, however, was the idea that Edward was dealing with having to see this happening and the knowledge that it could be him. Riza was not sure how Edward was any of the things that he mentioned but if he thought he was then he must have had a reason for it. She briefly wondered if the colonel had thought to ask Edward why he thought he was at risk before returning her attention to the handwriting on the page in front of her.

_I was alarmed by just how much this had affected Ed. I know that he had said I could not imagine the horrors that were currently taking place in that other world but I hadn't thought it could possibly be that bad. Now, however, I had to wonder... I was fully aware of most of the things the Elric brothers, Edward especially, and they had probably had experiences that only Ed now knew, so I knew that he had been through and I knew that they were extremely strong young men. Yet... the mere thought of this had the blonde shuddering and as tense as he was. There was no anger as was so normal when Edward thought about the tragedies of his life, only misery and... fear. It took me a few seconds to actually comprehend that last thought. Edward Elric was genuinely scared. The young man had faced fights and adversity almost every day of his life since he was a only a child but whatever was happening in 'Munich', as Ed had called it, had terrified him. He had also said that it could happen to him so I tried to figure out what he had meant by that. Could it be because, if they asked what race he was, it wouldn't be one they knew of? Did his arm and leg count as a disability even though he had automail? That must be it! Nothing else made sense._

"_Do you mean because of your automail?" I asked and he looked at me confused for a couple of second before he realised what I was referring to._

"_Ummm... yeah. Although I don't actually have automail here, unfortunately. I have something like it but the technology here is decades behind ours so I can't have actual automail. Of course, no one except myself and my father know about my arm and leg. No one else knows that they're not real and I intend to keep it that way."_

"_Good idea. The fewer people that know, the less likely you are to be found out." I paused, deciding whether or not to tell him what I was about to. Deciding that he should know, I continued, "We are trying to save you, you know. We're doing everything we can to figure out where you are and how to get you back. You'll be back soon and Al will be ecstatic to see you again. A little warning; he has a lot of questions for you when he finds you." I told the blonde with a slight chuckle at the image of Ed being bombarded by questions from his brother the second he returned. I saw the younger man smile a little bit too and knew that I had been right to tell him. He now seem reassured and also a little amused by the idea of his eager brother bounding up to him with hundreds of questions that would, of course, all need to be answered at that exact moment._

_He stood and walked to the door, visibly more relaxed than when I had first arrived, and as he reached for the handle, he stopped. Turning around but not raising his eyes to meet mine, he mumbled, "Thanks Roy." Then he strode quickly out of the room with a pink tinge to his cheeks as I stood frozen in surprise and... happiness. A small smile found its way to my face and I couldn't get rid of it. Then I woke up in my bed, everything the same as any other morning, except the small smile that had taken up residence on my face._

_Roy Mustang, A rather confused man..._

Riza looked up from the pages of the diary and looked at the peacefully sleeping form of her superior, unsure of just what was going on. She turned to the next page only to find that barely a paragraph had been written before the words had trailed off and, Riza assumed, Mustang had fallen asleep on the little book until she had found him. She sighed in mock exasperation and carefully placed the object back where the colonel had left it before creeping silently from the room. She could tell he wasn't sleeping well and now she had a good idea of why... She wasn't so strict as to wake him up now, when he was finally getting some proper rest.

**Paper Scars**


	9. Author's Note (Again)

Hello wonderful readers!

Just wanted to let you all know that I have figured out how this story is going to progress and it should be over in a couple more chapters. That means that now I just need to write the next chapter so hopefully i'll be able to update this story soon! :D

I'm really sorry for making you all wait so long. :(

Midnight-Kitsune11


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